You've got to admit, they're ballsy

This year is the 100th anniversary of the start of WW1 and so the TV here has been inundated with documentaries about the period. And I found out an amazing fact that just made me laugh out loud, it sums the French up perfectly. The French army uniform in WW1 was still the bright red and blue of the Napoleon army. We are so used to seeing black and white images that this little fact has been lost through history, until recently when new technology has been able to bring colour back to those black and white images.

The brown drab ones are the English! But just look at those jolly colours and how they must have stuck out like sore thumbs in the trenches. When the French saw, or rather didn't see, the Germans in their green camoflage they were appalled at the sneakiness and believed the Germans to be completely undignified and cowardly in this new war etiquette. They stood up proudly in their flashy uniforms and showed they were French and f**k everyone else. Millions of them were killed because they stood out too much and by WW2 they'd learnt their lesson and were in the green camoflage like everybody else. But still, you've got to admire their audacity!

Familles Nombreuses - Why so many children?

As in all countries, day time TV is pants, but in France there is a programme I quite enjoy of an afternoon called Tellement Vrai (So True). It basically follows the lives of normal people. Sometimes it's about people striving for fame, or 40 year old men who still live with their mothers. It's not a Jeremy Kyle kind of thing, they are proper documentaries. One of the themes they do a lot of is on big families. People who have 8 + children. I want more children, there are five of us (me, my three sisters and my brother) and it's great, but then again we didn't all grow up together, my parents had two children each before they got together and had me. I would like 3 or 4 but I might stop once I've had another one. My partner, typical African stereotype would be happy for me to pop one out once a year until my eggs dry up!

But even after watching hundreds of these mini documentaries I still can't quite get on board with the idea of having so many children. You can't have the same kind of relationship with each child if you have 10 kids as if you had 3, there just aren't enough hours in the day. The kids complain of wearing hand me downs, the elders one have to help with the littler ones, making them grow up too fast and the little ones getting away with murder! And the parents complain about how much milk and pasta they have to buy every week! Is it case of these women being addicted to be being pregnant? Does it stem from them having a lonely childhood or did they love growing up with a dozen siblings? Is it the father putting the pressure on to have so many children?

In France this isn't the norm, and often the parents are accused of having so many children so they can live off the benefits, as the French beenfits are amongst the most generous in Europe. And when do you draw the line? When does it go from lovely big family to that was one too many? I am torn between being in awe of the women who manage to raise so many children and thinking when they complain, I want to slap them and introduce them to a packet of condoms! But as I am human and not perfect, I sterotypically find it harder to understand why white families would want all these children, but don't bat an eyelid if I see an African or Arab or even Chinese couple with football team size broods.

As Stuffed as a Goose, Going on a Meat Strike!

The thing about living with an African is that meat is a must for every meal. Since we moved in together I have eaten more beef and sauces than I had in my whole life! And even though I buy fresh and good healthy ingredients, the latherings of sauce, the mounds of rice and the chunks of meat have stuffed me to my limit, and I wonder why I can't lose any weight!

Bad doesn't understand what the problem is. I mean look at him

He is naturally svelt and look at the helping on his plate, and yes he will go back for seconds! Plus meat costs a fortune, it's my biggest monthly expense second from my rent!

So as he is only coming home on weekends since starting his training, I'm going to make the most of his absence and go on a meat strike.

With a beautiful market on my doorstep twice and week selling gorgeous fruit and vegetables, I'm swapping meat for good fresh from the fields veg, fish & seafood. There are two fishmongers in the town centre, something that was sorely lacking where I used to live.

Yep, I'm saying goodbye to meat and I'm going to buy myself some new clothes with the money I won't be spending on meat and hopefully they will be a couple of dress sizes smaller!

Disney On Ice

Disney On Ice is back in Paris this December and I'm going! I've wanted to go for years and Tiana's finally old enough to sit through it and I'm dying to see her little face! Although I might actually bit a little more excited than her.

Plus it's at Christmas time so it's going to be even more magical, we all know Paris at Christmas is fabulous.

It Really is a Stunning Country

The internet is an amazing invention. Some days when I don't have anything particular to do or I just want some wind down time, I open Google images and search for whatever pops into my mind. Today I decided to search for the most beautiful villages in France and I was blown away by the results.

It really is a stunning country.

Beynac, Dordogne

Eguisheim, Alsace

La Roque-Gageac, Dordogne

Autoire, Dordogne

Colmar, Alsace

How to be Happy

I have found the key to happiness. 

And do you know what, it really bloody works!

I stumbled across this on Facebook a few months ago and I thought, it can't be that simple or can it? So I thought I'd give it a go, what's the harm in trying. Ever since every morning when I wake up, I say to myself "I'm in a good mood, today is going to be a good day". I say this to myself before I allow myself to think of the daily tasks, or whatever problem is at the fore front of my mind. Life is hard but we tend to be the reason why it's that bit harder than it should be, our own worst enemies.

I give myself this little pep talk and it makes me laugh, mainly because I think how much of a nutter I am muttering like a crazy person to myself first thing on a morning! Start the day with a laugh and a smile and believe me, it makes life so much easier. Go on, give it a go, I dare ya'

A Sad, Sad Day ... Are We at War?

I have just turned on the news and heard that the Frenchman Hervé Gourdel, kidnapped 2 days ago in Algerie by the Islamic State organisation was executed by decapitation yesterday afternoon.

My heart goes out to his family and friends.

I've had a niggling feeling for a while that things were going from bad to worse in the world. Putin's antics have had me very much on edge. In the year of the 100th anniversary of the start of the First World War and the 70th anniversary of the Normandy landings, I have been wondering what it was like at the beginning of the two world wars. A lot of people said that they were sure it wouldn't happen and even when war was declared it would be over in a matter of days. I can't help but have a feeling of déjà vu.

I am, however, very happy that the muslims in the west are speaking out loud and clearly against this organisation. An Imam has just been interviewed condamning the Islamic State stating "They are not muslims, they do not in any way represent the Islamic faith, I can only describe them as devils". Hopefully this time round the muslims living normally and who feel no affliation with the fundamentalists won't be subjected to the same bigotry and persecution as the Blair/Bush Reign of Terror inflicted on them.

Keep open minds people, just because your next door neighbour is called Mohammed does not mean he wants to blow up the local hospital! The Islamic State is run by powerfully rich men who pray on the vulnerable to brain wash them into really believing thay are doing Allah's calling in order to take over the world.

Stay safe everyone.

An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

This is one of the biggest culture clashes that I come across regularly, the French are pure and simply the biggest hypochondriacs in the world!

We have tummy bugs, sniffles and colds the French have gastroenteritis, the flu & the gastro flu!

Recently my daughter and I had a cough. Out came the cough medicine and Vicks and wrapping up as to sweat the virus out. My partner, as soon as the first cough came out of our mouths ordered us to go to the doctors. It does my head in! There's no need to go to the doctors for a cough! Obviously if it persists and starts to go into the chest I might start thinking about ringing for an appointment. I avoid taking paracetomal or giving it to my daughter unless absolutely necessary. A fever is the body's temperature rising because it's producing white blood cells to fight the disease, and especially a child needs to build up their own immunity. 

Now here's why the French run to the doctors ... In the uk you can get all different types of medicines over the counter in chemists, on the shelves in supermarkets or your corner shop and all very cheaply. In France medicines are sold only in chemists and can be quite pricey, and let's face it with the French health care system why bother paying for them when your doctor will prescribe an A4 page of sirops, vitamin C powders, paracetomal, nasal pumps and you take your little green health card "Carte Vitale" (literally the Vital Card!) to the chemist and it's all free! Whether you are unemployed, a skint student or the CEO of Fauchon! 

And of course let's not forget the arret maladie! The French sick note.

Even for the common cold the doctor will put you on the sick for a week, and 4 of those 7 days are fully paid. And you can do this as often as you like! It's very rare for the health service to ask any questions. I know people who at least once a month put themselves on a nice little arret maladie! Add that to the national 5 weeks holiday a year and you're laughing!

Vivre la France and their formidable socialism!

French African Vs African American

Worth a watch. Host Ryan Hall questions people on the streets of Paris about what it's like to be black in France compared to America. The honesty of the white people towards the end is refreshing.

Sarkozy's Back

Sarkozy officially announced his political return this week. In my opinion this is not good. And I will predict the future for France now. Holland's party are making a huge mess of things, the French National Front are gaining popularity, even winning the recent European elections. In the 2016 elections the socialist party won't get through because of the mess Holland's lot have made, so there will be a head to head between the National Front and Sarkozy and the French will panic at the last minute not wanting to completely commit to an extreme right wing president and Sarkozy will be president again.

Maybe it's time to start packing and getting the hell out of here before the poop hits the fan!

Can I just add, we don't seem to learn anything by hsitory's mistakes especially when it comes to electing little men that have huge penis complexes and turn into psychopathic meglomaniacs! Don't believe me, here's my proof .....

Bad Guys

Mussolini, 5 ft 6

Hitler, 5 ft 8 

Napoleon, 5 ft 6

Kim Yong III, 5 ft 2

Vladmir Putin, 5 ft 7

Josef Stalin, 5 ft 7

General Franco, 5 ft 3

Good Guys

Charles de Gaulle, 6 ft 5

Barack Obama, 6 ft 1

JFK, 6 ft

Abraham Lincoln, 6 ft 2

Stephen Harper, 6 ft 2

So next election please don't vote for the little guy, odds are he's a complete nutter!

Why Wealth Disgusts Me

When I look at the world today I can see the progress we've made, but what stands out the most is how little we've changed socially. The rich are still too rich and the poor still too poor.

We all take for granted this fantastic household item

If you've ever had your water cut off, even just for a couple of hours, you quickly realise how much we use water. You need it for drinking, cooking, your washing, to wash yourself, brush your teeth, the toilet, cleaning ... the list is endless.

Not following me, here's my point...

In Niger alone 11,000 wells are needed for the entire population to have access to clean water. The average cost of these wells ranges from $500 for a simple well able to provide 250 people with clean water to $125.000 for 6000 people.

The financial status of Niger means that the government can only fund 10% of these wells, meaning only 1100 wells can be installed.

Women and girls walk between 4-6 miles a day in search of water, and when they find it, it is more often than not contaminated. The task is so labourous that most girls don't go to school in order to help their mothers fetch the water, leaving millions of women and girls illiterate and left in the vicious cycle of extreme poverty.

When wells are installed, girls go to school ensuring that the next generation has a chance to get out of extreme poverty. Child mortality drops by 65%. Water borne diseases are eliminated by 99.9%.

Now let's look at Kim Kardashian's engagement ring

This baby was bought for a whopping $5 million.

With that $5 million plus the cost of her wedding ring and the wedding itself, Kim Kardashian could have solved Niger's water problem. Changing millions of peoples lives. Her family's wealth combined could solve most of Africa's water problem. Now imagine if every millionaire in the world stopped buying those diamond necklaces & stocking half a million $ cars in their garages to never be driven. Holding galas that cost thousands not including the expense put into the dresses, jewelery and accesories that the Ladies Who Lunch put into their outfits for these events that in the end only raise a few hundred thousand dollars. Imagine within a day how much money could be raised and how quickly world poverty could be irradicated.

It saddens me that in 2014 that this still exists

When we have people who can live like this

Beverly Hills Mansion

It's Wine Picking Season!

It's that time of year when the France's enormous wine industry turns to the public to come and help with the Vendanges. Traditionally this is in exchange for bed & board but some wine yards offer a small salary based on how many kilos of grapes you pick. Evey year I say I'll do it, and every year life gets in the way! But I do my bit by buying the wine!

One of the many reasons I don't fancy moving back to the UK is the price of wine! One of my favourite wines in France is Champlure Rosé and Lichette White. 

Averaging at between 1.40€ - 2€ depending on the supermarket. To my surprise I stumbled across this lovely no nonesense wine in Tesco on my last visit home for the whopping price of £6.99 a bottle! What is that about??

There are hundreds of "Vin de Tables" (Table Wines) for under 3€ in France, the only wine you find for that sort of price in the UK is Lambrusco! 

The French of course can be very snobby about their wine, and even though these table wines are perfectly lovely they are not what one would bring to a party! The unwritten etiquette is from 4€ upwards or at least at decent Cotes de Provence Rosé at around 2.90€ will be acceptable.

Why aren't the French always mortal at these prices I hear you cry? Well, they also have a drinking etiquette. Drunkeness is acceptable at very special occasions but otherwise it is very much looked down upon to be anything other than nicely "pompette" (tipsy). Also there are no small, medium or large glass options, wine is served in 15cl glasses, known as "ballon" (balloon of wine) compared to the buckets that you can find in most British pubs and bars!

French Wine Size

British Wine Size

Much like their eating etiquette, everything in moderation! 

70th Anniversary of the Liberation of Soissons

The weekend of the 30th August was the 70th Anniversary of the Liberation of Soissons from the Germans in the Second World War. The town was transported back in time for the occasion. The park in the town centre made way for an exposition of tanks, trucks, arms complete with a dinner & dancing tent.

On the Sunday morning there was a parade all through the town. The French are very good at this sort of thing. It was all so authentic and as hundreds of people were dressed in 1940s clothing, the wine was flowing and Edith Piaf was booming on the loud speakers, you could almost feel the same euphoria they must have felt in 1944.

An example of the attention to detail that I thought was excellent was the people prentending to be the Americans were throwing chewing gum, sweets and candy cigarettes from the trucks, just as they did way back when.

The weather was glorious so after the parade we decided to have a pcinic in the park, in the middle of all the tanks and soldiers.

Tiana thought it was all marvelous and even Bad decided to get up and have a go!